It’s quite something if even in her dreams, the Mr Unavailable situation can be making Daisy feel shit.
She isn’t quite sure of how the scenario comes about in her dream, but it’s something along the lines of her parents embarrassing her, and him feeling awkward and making excuses to leave and not see her again. Well, not see her again like ‘that’ anyway.
For some reason, they are all there, in the dining room come kitchen and while her mother irons (a terrible faux pas when you have guests anyway) her father is doing her speech about the price of some Fish & Chips he has been overcharged for, and Daisy is annoyed with him. She can’t understand why he didn’t notice he was being overcharged and then say something about it and she is laying into him, in typical Daisy, ‘trying to be helpful, but bloody pissed off’ when Mr Unavailable appears in the doorway looking awkward.
The dream makes no real effort to connect why he is there or why this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, but as Daisy storms in to the kitchen to try and sort out pictures on an Android phone (this is how you can tell it must be a nightmare, an Android phone? This really is cruel) he comes up behind her and stands next to the fridge and she hears those dulcet caramel tones of upper-class England roll out words that stab at her.
“I just think this isn’t going to work, it always gets confused, and awkward, and I just think it would be better if we were friends. I don’t think we should meet again like this. Indeed, I think, and I know you won’t like the idea of it, maybe we should just meet somewhere, like a beach and go for a walk?”
(In reality, if Mr Unavailable ever did actually try and arrange something Daisy might fall over with shock as she has accidentally ended up doing all the chasing, but in this dream, this isn’t really what matters to her.)
Daisy has her back to him, and every ounce of her wants to turn around and fight what he is saying. Argue, that it’s fine, that he just needs to be patient, to wait, everything will be fine. But her body is frozen facing the wall with her phone, her finger jabbing uselessly on what should be a ‘Home’ button but that takes ages to do anything and then allows the phone to momentarily glow, action something, freeze in the action and then die. The phone is some way seems to be a reflection of her attempts to establish a relationship with this man. She feels hopeless. Exhausted. Someone who wants to fight but just doesn’t have the energy. She wants to turn round, and grab him, and shake him until he shakes theses stupid ideas out of his head, make him see, that in this world where finding someone you can put up with for more than five minutes is so challenging, to actually find someone you feel chemistry with and want to tear off their clothes when you see them is priceless.
He can feel the magnetism between them, she is certain of that. So why the hell is he so scared of her, and ‘this’? Has he really been that badly hurt before?
At the back of her head, she hears C. Her voice, that never was sing-song like, singing out the words she fears.
“People like that don’t end up with people like you hun. Posh types only go out with posh types, and yeah, ok, you aren’t common but you definitely aren’t posh enough for him.”
Daisy pushes this outrageous thought to the back of her minds filing system. Although she understands the innate interbreeding of the upper classes, she also knows that occasionally there needs to be cross-pollination, and for goodness sake, isn’t she a perfect candidate for this exercise. (Surely the whole Wills and Kate thing isn’t a total fluke. Daisy wishes she had read the dating book Kate used, ‘How To Catch A Prince’ an underground Amazon bestseller).
Mr Unavailable may have a heritage that goes back to the 17th century and may have four decades of Etonian and Oxbridge history, but he isn’t the most attractive man in the world to most people, and he definitely isn’t the sanest by most conventional standards. His ideas on a complete secondary Heridary chamber are verging on bizarre, and that’s before you get to some of the quirkier ones. But she loves his quirkiness.
There is something about this tall, blonde, floppy-haired smoking posh boy that lights her up and ticks her boxes. To her, he is perfect even with his absurdities. She feels their feelings on privatisation, private education, the wife looking after the children and maybe staying at home (while writing books) and possibly shooting the worst offenders in society are almost perfectly matched, so really, can a misunderstanding really ruin it all?
In the dream it does. He leaves, as he had in real life the other day. Without coffee or making his roll-ups, and again Daisy feels bereft. Every time he leaves her, in real life or in dreams, she feels like death has visited. The numbness wakes her. It’s about 6 am and she is still tired but wants to try and get the day off to a positive start.
Looking at her phone when she rises is second nature, and as she glances at the screen she sees his name. A quick swipe and the phone glows into life, and the message is open and she is reaching for her glasses, so that just maybe she stands a change of not misreading it and getting it wrong.
[8:16 AM, 5/3/2019] Mr Unavailable: Morning. I’m really sorry about yesterday. I’m pretty upset about all this, and although I know it’s not your fault, on top of work it’s not making me feel too great.
I’ve got some test booked for next week, so hopefully, then I will no more. I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through and wish I could give you a hug. In the office all weekend, but hope you make the most of the good weather. x
This is what Daisy wishes she saw on her phone. Of course, the reality is that no. He hasn’t texted.
Part of Daisy knows he won’t.
Part of Daisy, who strongly believes in the ‘Law of Attraction’ believes if you believe it will happen it will.
Out of this hell will come light. She is sure of it. Almost.